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Napkins – The Eternal Conflict

June 8, 2013

napkins.blog

When it comes to the struggle over cocktail napkin color, it always comes down to cost.

You’d think cocktail napkins would be practically free, but they aren’t – unless they’re provided by a booze company who puts their logo on ’em. We have tight rules about corporate logos on anything in the Feedback Lounge, the exception being our own.

When we first opened, we had black cocktail napkins. These things were classy, sexy and just plain crazy cool.

Then we got the bill: black cocktail napkins are .03 cents a piece. Not a a big deal, you say? It cost on average $100 a month/$1,200 a year – just to be classy, sexy and just plain crazy cool on something that was made to be disposable.

So we reluctantly went with white cocktail napkins, which are .01 cent each. Quite a savings. But not nearly as cool.

Breaking it down even further, here’s how the napkins stack up. (Hey, that’s kinda funny since we stack ’em!)

WHITE COCKTAIL NAPKINS

Pro: Ridiculously cheap, easy to see in the dark, can write on ’em.

Con: Water drips and any kind of stain that results from stuff falling out of your mouth is painfully obvious. Also, people are hard-wired to use the white cocktail napkins as hankies, make-up remover, wadded projectiles.

BLACK COCKTAIL NAPKINS

Pro: Sleek, discreet, classy – the Lexus of absobent material. The customers love ’em as do our staff. And hey, you’ll never see Batman using anything but a black cocktail napkin.

Con: Price – three times that of white cocktail napkins. Can’t write on ’em. Invisible in bar lighting. Not exactly eco-friendly.

ALTERNATIVES

Red Cocktail Napkins: Maybe in an Asian restaurant, but not here.

Non-Bleached Cocktail Napkins: Cheaper than white cocktail napkins, 100% recycleable, eco-friendly, blah, blah, blah. But a brown napkin under a glistening cocktail is like wearing sweat socks with evening shoes.

Coasters: A craft cocktail should NEVER sit on a tacky cardboard coaster. That, and those flippin’ things are so expensive ($1.00 a piece), you’d need a booze company to provide ’em. And that means a corporate logo. And that means no.

Cloth Cocktail Napkins: What are you, nuts? How dare you suggest cloth napkins? This ain’t the Ritz.

Your Blouse/Shirt Sleeve: The ultimate solution if we could just get everyone on board.

The only other way to settle this is to pour our cocktails directly into your mouth, thereby alleviating the need for any napkin – colored, non-colored, unbleached or cardboard. We’ll get back to you once we iron out a few legal details.

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