Here’s a little Turkey Humor to help you get through the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday! (thanks to theholidayspot.com for these hilarities!)
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock
Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?
If your papa could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!
So, when I was a kid, I used to make the hand-drawn turkey, with all the construction paper, and white glue my mom could throw at me! Did you have to wake up at the crack of dawn to help your mother prepare the turkey feast!? It was a ritual in my house. My mom would wake me up at 7am to help her get the stuffing ready with all the YUCKY giblets, and dried bread!
I remember thinking, as I was un-stuffing the store bought turkey, of its plastic covered insides and neck, stuck up its rear-end, I thought often of how, when I grew up, and it was my turn to make my family the feast of the year, how I would NOT be using the innards! I was revolted every time I took a huge bite of the yummy-LOOKING stuffing, only to find I had a huge unsavory chunk of the birds’ heart or liver stuck in my upper molar! Phethuweyy! YUCK!
It would ruin my taste buds for the rest of my dinner plate, but I’d be damned if it was gonna ruin me for the BEST part of the entire meal! THE PUMPKIN PIE!!!!!! Oooooohhh oh oh! My mouth starts the water works as I type! I could live everyday on the pie made from this lovely type of squash! If I had my way, I would have it for every meal, and in between as well!
My grandmother Winnie, was the best pie maker this side of the Crocker. My mother later
highlighted the time of the year by making some even better pies…however Grandma’s tasty treats had that little touch of down-home-waiting in the rocking chair in the kitchen-for the pie to be done-yummyness. Mom’s always had the utmost best flakiest crust ever! It would be award winning, if I knew when the contests were…I swear! Not a man nor woman I’ve made my mom’s pie crust for, hasn’t exclaimed the usual “OH MY GOD this is the best pie crust!”
So, you want to know the recipe huh!? Why, my mother and my grandmother would be so proud! Here’s a little gift for those of you who read this blog!
MY MOTHER’S PIE CRUST RECIPE
(you can NOT deviate from the type of Crisco or Vinegar mentioned! Will not turn out the same)
(makes 3 crusts)
Combine these dry ingredients together in a large bowl.
2 cups FLOUR
1 cup regular CRISCO
pinch of salt
Stir together these next 2 ingredients in a small bowl, until the milk is curdled, then add them to the above dry mixture.
2 tbsp APPLE CIDER VINEGAR
1/2 cup MILK
In order to mix thoroughly, get your hands in some flour and use them instead of any kind of spoon, etc. Keeping the flour close at hand, sprinkle a bit onto a clean space of the counter top. (Be careful not to use too much flour during the rolling out, as it will make the crust tough, but just enough to not have the crust stick to you or the rolling pin or the counter top.) Using a floured rolling pin, roll out 1/3rd of the dough into a thinnish (1/8″ to 1/4″ thick or so) crust, large enough in diameter to fully cover your 9″ pie pan, so that you have some of it draping over the sides!
You hopefully know the rest to making pies. I’m not here to teach you everything, just to pass to you one of my family’s trusted recipes! Ha! Now what are you going to use as the filling? Well, the recipe on the back of the Pumpkin Pie filling (not the Pumpkin ONLY can stuff) can is the best. Yes, the store bought stuff! Just be sure to add a tsp of nutmeg to that recipe! And don’t forget to fork holes in the bottom of your crusts before you pour anything into them! It’ll help to keep things from boiling over in your oven! Oh, and use tinfoil around your crusts (only the crusts covered) when you bake the pies. It’ll keep them from getting too brown!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! You’ll be thankful for this pie crust recipe, if anything this year! And I know your guests will be as well!
Enjoy!
Bradi Jones
Feedback Lounge General manager
